who we are and where we came from II

Pictures of pictures from the house on Center Moriches. My family and I said our farewells to the land my grandparents raised their family on. Grammy had us help go through her things and help her start packing-- she moves out the weekend after next. My brothers were coerced into trying on our grandfather's worn wide-shouldered coats and I her fancy old coats leftover from an era she fondly refers to as her "New York City days." I can't imagine how strange it must be to go through it all-- everything seems to have some sort of worth or importance. As a grandchild, I kept feeling like only in the past few years have I started paying attention to the things that really matter to me-- and to see the dismantling of a home that reads to me like a primary document of where my mother came from was startling. But I'm also excited to see how memory picks up where the departure from the "real thing" drops me off. These pictures show how different the houses of my grandparents were from one another, different components of the story of who my brothers and I are and where we come from.

time to look back

On Sunday we finally made it to the other side, and here's the evidence of that culmination of our coast-to-coast journey.

first name basis II

We drove out to Center Moriches today-- me, my mom, brothers Will and Dennis, and our small wheezy dog Credo. We stopped at the Friends cemetery where my Uncle Mark and grandfather are buried and I walked around to check out the first names as I had in Indy. I wasn't surprised to find them more familiar, or as Morgan mused, family-er.

Ralph Harold Helen Tacy Henry Marietta Caroline Byrnina Frederick Titus Ida Grace Eloise Peter Mary Edwin Markham Alice Paul Edwin Alfred Sandra Thomas Samuel Katherine Phebe Martha William Stephen Robert Lydia Richard James Anna George Sarah Carl Edward John Susan Francis Cornelia Adele Charles Wallace Arthur Benjamin William Edmund Clarence Kate Sherman Lendal Harriet Nicholas Adeliza Georgianna Caroline Helen Holland Ella Elizabeth Jane Margaret Jesse Louise Louisa Alexander Daniel Josephine Rose Johanna Jacob Virginia Herman Hilda Everard David Henry Wilbur Chester Jennie Fannie Frederick Angie Irene Ada Alonzo Philip Magdalena Thorne Lois Timothy Dorothy Stanley Edith May Emma Frank Barbara Caryl Florence Abraham Isabel Maud Henry Irene Gail Guy Clinton Ruth Ethel Matilda Eileen Jennie Lucy Nannette Julia Leon Stephen Addie Lillian Charles Eleonor Willets

detour!

Will and I ran into some trouble in the middle of Ohio when my debit card stopped working. After two hours on the phone with Bank of America, also known as Dumbest Bank Ever, it was determined that they had shut down the card because it had been used by an unknown party traveling across the country. When I pointed out that I was part of that unknown party the bank representative floundered and apologized for me being shit-out-of-luck.

We didn't have enough money to get to Center Moriches so we swung on north to Ithaca. It was great to get home, albeit unexpectedly soon. Will got to hang out with his sweetheart for a couple days and I got to sleep, get a new debit card, walk around Ithaca, meet up with my friend Seth Bernstein and have dinner with Rachel Ostlund and Lauretta Dolch. I bought these stereo cards and a couple of handkerchiefs from a small antique shop downtown that I really like called Pastimes.

Will and I are determined to finish the final leg of our trip. We're hitching a ride with our mother and youngest brother out to Center Moriches tomorrow morning for the final visit to Grammy's house before she moves out. And maybe also go to the beach too.

"Western Cowboy names for your new cowboy or cowgirl."

List generated and discovered online, at a website for new parents:

Austin Avery Buck Beau Bronson Bryce Brooks Brant Bennett Boyd Cage Clint Colton Craig Casey Clovis Coleman Chase Carson Cyril Cooper Charlton Chance Cody Clay Claude Coke Cecil Clyde Calvin Coy Clifford Cash Cord Darrell Dale Dwayne Dalton Dawson Dwight Dock Doyle Dustin Dallas Emory Eldon Eloy Emmett Farley Floyd Forrest Galen Garvin Grady Gerald Gene Garland Garrett Grant Haskell Houston Hadley Horace Hoyt Harley Harlan Herschel Hollis Jack Jake Justin Jace Justice Jesse Kirby Kent Kendall Leland Lance Lantry Lowell Lyndall Lloyd Lyndon Landon Lyle Merle Marshall Mitchell Maddox Monty Preston Royce Rex Rusty Red Randall Russell Ridley Riley Rowdy Ross Reese Sonny Shiloh Shane Stetson Thurman Tex Tinker Thaine Toby Tucker Terrell Ty Tyson Travis Truman Troy Trace Tillman Truett Trevor Trey Vernon Vance Vaughn Wiley Willard Weston Wilbur Wesley Winston Wendell Weldon Waylon Wyatt Wade Wayne Zane

miniature vacancy

I emptied the doll house I played with as a child, frustrated by how hard it was for my 25 year old hands to rearrange things that had fallen over inside and was pleased by its emptiness.

my grandmother's face

Is still in my grandfather's bathroom drawers. I used to covet these objects as a child.

who we are and where we came from

My grandmother was absolutely mad for antiques. When my father was in high school she and my grandfather purchased and furnished the home that they lived in together for the next 30 years. The home she built was one from another time. My dad has stories about how Mimi would drive to pick him up from college at the end of the year and how he would be forced to get rid of things when she pulled up because the trunk was full of antique nick knacks and the back seat stuffed with a hundred year old dresser. The walls of the house were strictly for historical pictures-- contemporary photographs were put in standing frames and nestled into arrangements in cupboards and on coffee tables. As with all versions of American history, Mimi's was sometimes falsified, elaborated or arbitrary, but indisputably puritanical and American. I'm excited about these pictures and what they mean and my head is humming with thoughts about them.

first name basis

Drove out to Middletown, Indiana, to visit Mimi at the cemetary and got lost amongst the unfamiliar and seductive Midwestern first names, names that seem like they've been forgotten. Will and Papa finally had to insist that we leave when it became unclear if I would ever be ready to go. This list is only the beginning of what was out there...

Lavonia Flory Mabel Otis Ina Ira Ella Burton Hattie Pat Louona Leora Luther Marcleen Leonard Bernice Walter Garrett Lestie Sheldon Hudie Veo Maynie Clarence Gladys Willis Lulu Lillian Mina Vora Spence Cora Leroy Virgie Myrtle Levina Samuel Dortha Roxana Izuma Clyde Opha Roland Hessel Arzella Ray Clotilde Gilla Oca Zella Ellison Bertie Santford Dewey Callie Pearl Grace May Margaretta Emeline Elsie Bertha Roscoe Sylvester Pha Lavinia Rena Asa Ruby Theodore Cornelia Zoa Franklin Olive Blanche Minerva Angeline Bailis Simon Lovicy Ethel Lou Rhoda Abraham Iva Neva Noble Clifford Mirtie Wilbur Herbert Waldo Delia Inda Loren Kenneth Homer Fern Beatrix Raymond Dottie Harriet Levi Cathern Riley Willard Lona Uela Elnora Martin Lowell Ione Alta Syvilla Viola Floyd Retta Samuel Bessie Lute Lex Carter Erasmus Cornelius Mildred Allex Chas Lottie Lewis Roxie Barrett Veleta Agnes Hilton Opal Lucille Roy Lemuel Edger Ruth Walter Cora Venona Vivian Warren Izeban Mildred Ora Harter Dorance Nelson Cloyce

windows let the light in

Taken in Indy, at Mimi and Papa's dark house.

secret life of denise

My mother sent me these photographs of her when she was doing research in Brazil, figuring out how small rainforests could be until they stopped being able to support themselves as rainforests. They were taken in 1981, and the hunky sharpshooter standing with her was her last boyfriend before she met my father in Iowa City a year later, a guy named Rob Bierregaard. She wrote to me and said on the phone that these pictures are proof that she used to be cool. I told her that I'm pretty sure that these pictures are proof that she is cool, which she liked to hear. Will I wonder the same thing about myself in thirty years? Good question.

firepower!

"Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight, o'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

Will and I considered the lyrics of this song and while waiting for fireworks to start in Topeka, Kansas. We realized that fireworks are supposed to symbolize the tradgedy and horror of what war was like 250 years ago, which made the awestruck ritual of watching them seem even more strange and technicolor than usual.

what you see from here

Everywhere we go there are signs, some of them oddly beautiful, others poetic or philosophical. Along the road there are even signs that let you know signs are coming up-- "Point of Interest, 2.4 miles". Then you pull over and discover something like you are standing next to the site of where the Chrysler boyhood home once sat. I'd like to take more pictures of these signs because I already collect photographs of signs from other peoples collections. I'm interested in the choice someone made to take a picture of a sign. It implies that the information on the sign is worth preserving, that it means something, that it is personally significant or important. I'm also interested in how the importance of those photographs changes when separated from the pictures of what they describe. It's an interesting medium where speech and sight collapse into one another-- it implies that you can't really know what you're seeing or what you're reading about without the other.

purple mountains majesty

We said hello to the Colorado Rockies and farewell to any hint of land formation today as we drove into flat Kansas.

along for the ride

We've passed through California, Nevada, Utah and are on our way out of Colorado tomorrow morning. The mountains have agreed with us mightily. We're staying in Boulder with an old friend from highschool named Tyler Corson-Rikert. We ate gringo Mexican food and danced to a salsa band behind a hotel. Everyone out here loves the outdoors SO MUCH that they just can't stop talking about climbing and skiing and mountain biking ALL OVER IT. Will and I can't stop taking pictures of the interior of our vehicle.

day two: still alive, very sweaty

Th wild west has been a pretty mixed bag so far. California was predictably awesome, Reno predictably sucked a little bit and the stretch of hot acrid desert between Reno and Salt Lake almost sucked the life out of us. But then we passed The Great Salt Lake, "great" because of it's size and NOT because of it's quality as a swimming spot, and the hills rose again and the green sprung out of them and our drive has been lovely ever since. We're sleeping in Steamboat Springs tonight and are off to Rocky National Park and Boulder/Denver tomorrow, where I'll be sure to take the time to upload pictures from the trip and write with more vigour.

so long, west coast, we will miss you so

We bid the Pacific coast adieu and left today.

sea to shining sea

Will and I are leaving San Francisco tomorrow morning to go do America from sea to shining sea. We had a great day yesterday getting ready and being touristy. Oil change, check. Golden Gate Bridge, check. Pacific coast, check. Golden Gate Park, check. Haight Ashbury, check. Grocery shopping, check. Will bought a sweater and I helped him hem it. I washed our laundry at the apartment and he carried it to the laundromat to dry it. I cooked dinner, he did the dishes. It's nice to not be small and squabbly anymore. I love this picture and these small strawberry children.

who am I to say yes? who am I to say no?

I had stopped on my bike at a street light at the corner of Church and Market where I heard a homeless man ask a few well-dressed bros for change. One of them asked, "Who am I to say no?" before digging into his pockets. The light turned green and I kept going. I thought about this question for the rest of my ride and appreciated that built into it was the implication that every choice we make is a part of who we are, even the most mundane, the most automatic, the most distracted decisions that happen all the time and everywhere.

Itineraryary

July 1:
leave San Francisco
drive through Reno
camp near Elko, Nevada

July 2:
leave Nevada
drive to Salt Lake City
camp near Vernal, Utah

July 3:
leave Utah
drive into Colorado
camp in Boulder/Denver

July 4:
leave Colorado
drive into Kansas
camp near Kansas City

July 5:
leave Kansas
drive through Illinois
camp after St. Louis, IL

July 6:
leave Illinois
arrive in Indianapolis at Papa's house

July 7:
Indianapolis

July 8:
drive through Columbus, OH and Pittsburgh, PA
camp near Lancaster

July 9:
drive through Philadelphia, PA and Somerville, NJ
arrive at Grammy's house, Center Moriches, Long Island